And maybe I fear me too. Maybe it’s all a facade. One that you’ve just torched with your perceptive observations. You’re right. I love freely with no restraints because I fear nothing. Because once upon a time, I loved far too deeply, and it destroyed me. It emptied my soul, and where my heart was, all that remained was an abyss of self-destructive habits. My mirror is fragmented, but the pieces don’t hurt me, and I guard myself from the truth. I don’t want to see it – the reflections of what I’ve manipulated love into. I am numb. I have become the predator making the ones strong enough to resist love the prey. And you fear me for that reason. Because I am ruthless and do not love with my heart, but love with the high I get from being recklessly in love.
So tell me how it feels? To love but never receive the same affection and to feel vulnerable. The fear of loving again. Tell me what it’s like to never be hurt physically but mentally as the paranoia and your heartbreak consumes your mind. What’s it like to feel like a predator and to become so numb? Does it feel like you’re trapped in literal hell? You see the inner demons that haunt you with the fear of rejection and the feelings of weakness, right? You speak of sacrifices one must take but you were in reality talking about yourself. I never thought the day would come when my predator would seem so vulnerable like I was forced to feel. And maybe I still fear you for everything that was said and happened to me, but what does it change? Like I said, the pain and the trauma remains as battle scars that rest on the heart. You said you wish to never see the truth and the reflections you’ve made. It kills you inside every time you try to hide from the truth – you see me as the reflection. You like to parade around the wrong answers. Your intentions and actions don’t align with your cloaked emotions. The question was never about whether you’re ruthless or reckless. But maybe the realization you’ve yet to make is that you always saw me as the prey, because I’m the reflection you love to hate, but hates to love. The dark place is no place for people like us, no matter how many times we’ve been there before.